This past week was a week from hell. At least the first half of the week

The week before, we had gone back and forth a million times on how much renewal stock to reorder. On Monday of this past week, we finally got pricing for the pieces. Just skimming them, I could tell they were too high, but there wasn't much we could do about that because the quantities were too low to get a good price. We were already ordering out to 6 months, so we were already stretching as far as we could in terms of quantity.

So I brought my concerns to my supervisor (I'll call P) who snapped back that she didn't even want to look at it unless I could show her how these costs compare to what we've been spending. I then wasted a good couple hours trying to find a cost sheet that would break down how much we were currently paying for each component so I could plug in the new numbers. At this point it was 6pm, already way after work hours, so I went home.

Tuesday morning, my assistant took my calculated numbers to P who then yelled at him because I didn't include postage, data processing, or consultant fees in the numbers. She then called me up and yelled at me a bit about how I needed to show her we could afford to mail this package as compared to budget.

Well, I KNEW we weren't going to be able to afford this mailing if we're going by budget because P had low-balled the budget.Even the reforecasted budget! She had written the costs as $0.60 a piece when in the last six months we have really been spending about $0.90 to $1.00 a piece. And the high cost wasn't because of printing costs. It was because of data processing. We hit the minimums every month.

Anyway, I pulled together all the numbers she wanted and how they compared to budget, PLUS the actual costs for the last six months AND the actuals for LAST FISCAL YEAR. That way I could go in there and say, "No, we are not going to be able to stick to budget because the budget is too low. We are budgeted to spend less than we actually spent last year and based on actuals for this year, we are likely going to end up spending about that much again." By that point it was 6 pm again, I had worked late again, and I was tired so I went home.

And then it was Wednesday. I spent all morning trying to grab P to go over my numbers but she was too busy to see me. Finally at around 4:30, I grabbed her in her office and told her the situation. SHE TOTALLY FLIPPED OUT. Among the things she screamed at me about, the top ones were:
1. How did I let our actuals go so high over budget.
2. Why didn't I tell her we needed to reprint before she wrote the reforecasted budget.
3. I needed to fix this because she doesn't have time for this.
4. Why didn't I get these numbers to her sooner.
5. How I never did my work fast enough.
6. How I never give her what she asks for the first time.

When she was done screaming at me, she told me to get pricing for 12 months out (ignoring my earlier point that it's the dp costs, not the printing costs) and then stormed off because she was going on vacation for the holidays. (P is the some supervisor that went on vacation for two weeks right after I started working there and dumped ALL her work in my hands with no explanation on what to do.)

As you could imagine, I was pretty upset by this. I don't appreciate getting blamed for mistakes I am not responsible for. I'd beat myself up over mistakes I really made, but this situation is totally not my fault and I am doing the best I can to try to sort it out.

I stormed out of the office and walked through the hallways for a bit, then washed my face because I was starting to cry. Then I closed my office door, called ben, and vented about how much I hate P and was going to quit if I had to work with her anymore. I felt a tiny bit better after that. Tiny bit.

While I was focusing my anger towards getting stuff done, the women from HR came in and asked if she could have a private talk with me. She told me:
1. P has a history of outbursts like this so I shouldn't feel like I was being singled out.
2. Her outbursts are NOT tolerated and she has been spoken to about it in the past.
3. That was her last chance.
4. HR and the president of the company are aware and addressing the issue.
5. I won't have to work with P much longer after the holidays are over.
6. Please don't look for a new job over the holidays.

I only feel a tiny bit guilty hoping that conversation means P is going to be fired.

So on Thursday, P was off on vacation and I was still left with the ongoing disaster. Ordering out 12 months like P suggested still wasn't going to get us to budget and I felt it was stupid to order that much stock in the first place because it would cross fiscal years. (And thus tie our budget down to what we've always done rather than look for new ways to mail the message.)

The only thing left to do was to go to P's supervisor, the president of the company. I brought her all my numbers, explained the situation, and suggested we print just for the next mailing since it was in progress and incurring costs already. Then I made the recommendation that we mail this package less frequently (right now we do it every month) because the big costs are the data processing minimum charges.

The president was very understanding and agreed with my recommendations. She did have a lot of questions on why the budget AND reforecasted budget were so off, which I had to tell her I didn't know because P preferred to handle that on her own. The pres. then contacted the client and made nice with them to get them to agree to print for just the current mailing while we look into ways to reduce costs in the future. The client likes reducing costs, so they agreed. I ordered the pieces we needed and felt a huge relief until I remembered P will be back on Tuesday and will probably start yelling at me for going over her head.

Our new strategy person (who started Monday) has now been tasked with making sense of the budget P wrote so the president has a better idea on where everything went so wrong. I spent much of Friday answering her questions. Unfortunately most of my answers were, "P did not include me on this, so I don't know." She discovered that the budget differs depending on which tab of the excel sheet you are looking at. THAT'S reassuring...

I'm really glad this week is over. I want to have a nice relaxing weekend with Ben and the dogs. Hopefully by next week, I'll finally stop having nightmares about P. (Last night I dreamed she showed up at my wedding and started yelling at me because the dinner course was taking too long to get to her.)
Our marketing agency has done it once again. Today it was so bad, I needed to take a walk around the building to cool off.

We printed a package that included a petition. The petition reads, "Dear [decision maker]" and we custom print each one with the donor's representative. However, our marketing agency is filled with TOTAL IDIOTS, because they printed the petition "Dear [donor's name]".

I started getting calls today about it. I am not happy.

This was a pure idiot mistake. Because every time you print something with variable copy like that, the printer will provide a few samples of the package with a sample of names from your data filled in and ask you if everything is being filled in correctly. It takes just a few seconds to confirm that each column of your data is matching up correctly in the package.

There is absolutely no way this mistake could have been missed unless they didn't bother to look at the samples before giving the ok to print.

I need to find a new job soon. I don't know how much more of this my sanity can stand. I'd hate to look like a quitter, but these are unreasonable conditions. I do not feel like I am working with professionals here.
I was hitting the candy basket by 9:30 this morning at work. Our marketing agency has caused me to develop a bad teeth clenching habit. I've been chewing on candy to try to prevent me from cracking my teeth.

They sent me art of a May package. One piece of the package I had approved already because it required a longer production time. It was included with this art, they said, just to show me the full package. But the piece I approved looked nothing like it should have. And I started to worry they went off and printed whatever they wanted, totally disregarding what I told them to do.

In the end, they had just sent the wrong art to me. But that's just another problem I have with them. Our account reps don't review anything they send over, so there are constant mistakes. They are going to kill me with stress.

The whole day was like that. One crisis after another, because the marketing agency is too dumb and careless the check what they are sending to me.

At the end of a long, long day, I finally got to go home. But of course there were tourists to battle against. And then it was pouring raining. It was raining so hard, the park and ride flooded and I had trouble jumping over the river of water to get to the car.

The only good news of the day is that ben fixed roomba. He had been sick, making a clunking noise as he cleaned and then stopping early to demand a brush cleaning. He couldn't even clean one room. Ben replaced his brushes today, which appears to have fixed the problem. Aside from getting trapped in the bathroom again, roomba did a perfect job cleaning this evening.
I woke up just before 4:30 this morning to the sound of my dog crying. I turned on the light, but she was nowhere to be found. Eventually I discovered her sitting on the steps, unable to go any further due to the baby gate that was supposed to be keeping her upstairs, not down.

The best I can guess, she slipped down when ben got up in the middle of the night to go to work. He must have dutifully put the gate back up, not realizing she was with him. Stupid dog.

And sure enough, the entire downstairs was a disgusting mess. Four accidents. One of which I stepped in. Another, on top of my good grocery bags. I don't understand why she does this every time she's allowed downstairs at night. (She almost never has an accident if I keep her in the bedroom with me.)

While cleaning up, my hair fell in the pee and I had to wash it. Then when I finished cleaning everything up and was washing my hands, my soap fell between the sink and the toilet. So of course my hair went into the toilet and I had to wash it again.

After I was done, I was so angry, I couldn't fall asleep. But I was also too upset to do anything productive. So I stayed in bed and tried to forget the world existed.

Ben came home 10 minutes after my alarm went off so no cuddling was had this morning.

This has not been a good day so far.
Yesterday was a stupid day. Ben got a call around 10am that something broke at work and he had to come in and save the day. I figured that would take an hour or two at most. Ben got home after 9pm. I was not happy.

I tried to kill the day with sewing. I started making a loud pink and skull skirt for work. All was going well until the waistband. The illustration was incorrect. I need to go back and cut a new piece of fabric to correct it. I'll try to get that done tonight. Once the waistband is done, I need to hang it up overnight to set the bias correctly. Then I can hem it, which shouldn't take long at all. If all goes well, I should be able to wear it by Wednesday.

Ben and I were going to go to a chinese buffet yesterday, but by the time he got home it was much too late for that. So we went to the diner instead. I got a salad that tasted good, but smelled like citrus kitchen cleaner. I wasn't able to finish it. I got ice cream instead.

And then we got home and it was bedtime. What a stupid dumpy day.
Super rainy today. It was pouring this morning, which poor noname was not happy about at all. Even with her adorable raincoat on she didn't want to go outside. I forced her out long enough to pee and then let her race back to the door.

My train ride into the city was soggy too. Because my train was leaking. All the seats were wet. I was contemplating opening my umbrella. I sense that this is not normal for most train systems.

Work was a day of disasters. Our new consultants make me crazy because they have no respect for processes. I am constantly pushing back at them. YES, we need to run this by our scientists to make sure it's factually accurate. YES, we need to do an art checklist. YES, we need to get Rodger's approval if he's going to be "signing" the letters.

It's very frustrating!

Also frustrating is the way the new exec vp assigns tasks to me without checking if I even have the time for such things. I really don't right now, especially because it's the end of the fiscal year and I have a lot of stuff to close up. (And did you know that when she started working here, she set up a meeting with everyone EXCEPT me? Rally not feeling all that valued lately...)

At one point today I had to take some complicated directions I was reading into the bathroom with me just to get some interrupted quiet time. Every time I tried to work on it, someone would walk into my cube asking for one thing or another.

I was really happy when the day was finally over and I could go home. Except it was raining even harder than this morning. Noname once again didn't want to go out. She's going to pee all over the floor tonight.

I planned on doing some sewing tonight, but I feel really tired. I think I will go to bed early. I need to strength to deal with our consultant's tomorrow and their package audit. At least they're providing lunch. But how much you want to bet they will forget to get me a veggie option? They didn't ask if anyone needed veggie, so it probably never crossed their minds.
Today we had a really awful meeting at work. It was supposed to be two hours long and map out how costs are managed and paid for each project. The new exec vp is a big fan of ridiculously long meetings for things that could easily be answered by email.

The accounting dept ended up derailing the conversation about 45 minutes into the meeting. They became obsessed with one tiny detail that they couldn't wrap their heads around. And so they argued with us for the entire rest of the meeting, plus an additional 30 minutes.

So it was about 2 hours of straight yelling the whole time. I wanted to cry.

To make things worse, my crooked spine makes it nearly impossible for me to sit that long. I had forgotten to take some medicine beforehand, so I was in agony by the end.

I'm not going to get any work done for the rest of the day. I feel mentally exhausted. I might even leave early today.
Yesterday the director of our department held a bad news meeting. It was like when you rip off a bandaid to get the pain over as quickly as possible.

So the first thing is that the magazine is canceled. This is a big problem because all our marketing materials says, "Member benefit! Magazine!" and now we won't be sending the magazines out, making us look like one of those scammy charities. The higher ups are trying to think of something of equal perceived value that we can send instead, but until then, the membership dept is out of luck.

Then there is the complication that the magazine isn't canceled officially. The board has to approve the change. And the board won't decide until the end of this month. Just a few days before the final art for one of our biggest renewal mailings needs to be printed. So once we know if it really is canceled, we may need to re-print all our member benefit inserts. Everyone will be scrambling as soon as we know.

The second piece of bad news was our accountant quitting. Which is really bad because without him, nothing gets paid.

Which brings us to the third piece of bad news. The higher ups have decided not to replace the accountant. Each program manager will be expected to handle their own invoices instead. Don't they realize that's a bad idea? That's how we used to handle invoices before the accountant was hired. It was a total disaster. Invoices kept getting lost. And not paid. And the higher ups aren't even considering all the other stuff he does, like reconcile late payments, transfer funds between accounts, and other good stuff like that.

All of these very stressful changes is making me give a look over my resume. It's making me nervous.

After the meeting, I headed home in a foul mood. Which was made worse by a woman who was changing her baby's diaper ON THE TRAIN SEAT. It was disgusting! The smell was bad enough, but to make things worse, she didn't put anything underneath the baby's filthy butt. So there was nasty baby poop on the seat when she was done. Gross! What is wrong with these people!?

I was super grumpy by the time I got home. And careless, so I spilled hot garlic butter all over my clothes and the floor. It was a mess.

I ended up going to bed early. There was no point in staying awake. But then I had trouble sleeping all night because my back ached. I've been so tense the last couple days, the muscles in my shoulders and along my spine feel totally destroyed. I need a vacation.
There was an aggravating chatty woman on the train today that could not accept that 1. I don't want kids, 2. It's none of her business.

She kept telling me I'd change my mind. And that I if I had one I'd change my mind. What if I didn't? It's not like you can return the kid to the baby store for a refund.

She was pushy too. I kept telling her that it really isn't up for discussion but she just kept going on. I was so incredibly relieved when I finally got to my stop.

That was just one tiny part of my awful day.

Things kept exploding at work. I tried to calm down by hand delivering a contract to a company a few blocks away, but I was locked out of their building. I had to call to be let in.

The president of the org snuck up behind me while I was goofing off. Metro was broken down and I missed my bus. I tried to cheer myself up with strawberries and blueberries and whipped cream, but I dropped it.

I kinda hate everything right now.
Yesterday was a big pile of disappointment. Numerous things went wrong. And I have a stomach ache, so I am sure today won't be very good either. I'm going to sit at my desk and be grumpy for the rest of the day I think.
So the wii is being shipped back to nintendo where hopefully they will make it work again. At this point, I think the problem is with the laser.

The wii was just one small part of my day of failure.

Ben took me to the reston festival because I had expressed interest. It was a big disappointment. None of the foods were especially exciting and the booths sold nothing but pottery, jewelery, and dresses made in china. I had hoped for fresh made crepes, but that booth was not there this year.

When we got home, I attempted to make pudding but it came out terribly lumpy. I knew I should have dissolved the corn starch in the cold milk, but the recipe said otherwise. From now on, I will know better. NEVER dissolve corn starch in hot liquid, no matter what the recipe says.

Plenty of other little disappointments piled up throughout the day. I ended the evening by breaking down into tears. I felt a bit better after a good long cry.
My poor dog was extremely confused yesterday when I came home and immediately started sobbing. She stayed by the bedroom door guarding against whatever had hurt me while I finishing crying off the day. I felt a little better after that. A tiny bit. She seemed happier when I stopped crying too.

After that, ben took me to costco. Then we picked up dinner. My nachos were soggy but that is to be expected on such a lousy day. Also, noname peed the floor. Again to be expected on a day like yesterday. Cried myself to sleep after that. Ben didn't come to bed until 4. Woke up wishing I didn't.

Today seems somewhat better. My boss sent me an email saying she really liked my presentation so far. She asked me to double check some data, but other than that, she thought it was very good. I wish I could shove that in incompetent coworker's face. (Who, by the way, ate SIX munchkins at a meeting this morning. Despite making such a big deal all the time about her stupid shake diet.)
Thinking of going home early. Feeling very down and have no desire to embarrass myself by crying at work. I wish I didn't have two more meetings to sit through today.
I AM DONE WITH TODAY.

I'm watching yumeiro patissiere for the rest of the evening. I'm tuning out out everything but its chocolate covered sweetness.
Ugh.... Today started out pretty decent too....

But then I found a big mistake in the reforecast budget. It all went downhill from there. I've been yelled at a lot today. The person keeps telling me she's not mad at me and doesn't blame me. So why is she yelling at me!?

I wish I could have just pretended to overlook the mistake. But then I'd probably just get yelled at later... *sigh*

I want to go home. Where I don't get yelled at and I have a little dog that loves me.
Hmmmm, it appears today is competing with yesterday.

Just found out that a package mailed with the wrong reply document in it. It was correct in the final art. Something went wrong after that. I don't know why I am getting yelled at. After final art is approved, it is out of my hands. Either the production team or the print shop messed this one up. I'm guessing the production team. This was just before that guy quit. I bet at that time he was in a state of mind of not caring at all if things were right.
Bad days are dumpy. Yesterday was a very dumpy bad day.

Tuesdays are normally pretty hectic for me. I have a meeting every Tuesday morning that I have to prepare for. It's a production status meeting, so I can't prep beforehand. Normally that isn't a problem because I set aside time in my calendar for uninterrupted work time to get it done.

Yesterday morning though, several people in my dept had a meeting right after that meeting and for some ungodly reason thought I should be the one to do THEIR prep work. So on top of my normal very busy morning tasks, I had to do the tasks of 4 other people. I was angry and stressed. I was also late to my production meeting.

And I forgot to bring my breakfast, which I didn't have time to eat at home because I was running late. The time change is killing me. I had meetings straight through until noon. I was starving by lunch time.

After lunch, I had a meeting where I was supposed to work with someone on the budget reforecast. I've never done a reforecast before, so this coworker is supposed to walk me through everything. But instead of doing that, the coworker basically said, "Yeah, just do what the instructions say and let me know if you have any questions when you are done."

I learn better by actually going through the steps, so I didn't really understand the instructions in the first place. What should have taken me 30 minutes took 2 hours and 30 minutes as I tried to figure out how to do the calculations.

The budget sheet was due by the end of the day, but coworker never looked over my finished work yesterday like she was supposed to. I am totally throwing her under the bus should anyone ask me why everything is late. I was so angry yesterday I started to cry at my desk.

Best part is that during our meeting where she didn't help me at all, she told me I had to make time for this budget work because it HAD to be in on time. (I had snapped at her that I had set aside that 30 minutes to work on it with her and she was sending me off to work on it outside the meeting when I didn't have the time for it.) If it was so important for it to be done on time, why couldn't SHE make time to review it like she was supposed to?

Anyway, for the rest of the day, everything I was working on was late. I was getting angry calls and emails. It was frustrating. I was glad when the day was finally over.

Unfortunately the train was a vomit train. The driver kept breaking and accelerating hard and often. I was very very sick by the end of the ride. I had to sit on a bench before my stomach could even handle the escalators.

Then my bus broke down. That was extremely upsetting after such a long bad day, but thankfully the driver was able to get it started again after a few tries. It managed to stay running all the way to my stop after that. I hope they take it out of service to fix it.

Ben had d&d last night, so I was home alone with the dog. I tried to go to bed early, but I couldn't fall asleep so I watched star trek. I thought it was funny how star trek on spike has commercials for cleaning products and yogurt while star trek on syfy has burger and electric hammer commercials.

Somehow I had completely forgotten that wesley crusher had the power to control all space and time. I hate him more now.

Ben came home for about an hour, then had to go to work. I was sad. I went back to bed and was able to fall asleep this time.

Of course today started off on a great foot as well. 40 minutes to catch a train. And I paid peak fare for the privilege. *sigh*
Another bad day, but it's over now, so I can at least sigh with relief.

I did my best to get through the work day despite the dizzy medicine. Tomorrow is the last of the medicine though. Just need to survive until then.

Towards the end of the day, I made the happy discovery that a high dose of motrin will now barely dull my mouth pain. So at least tomorrow I won't have to be so dizzy.

Metro was a disaster. I felt like I'd never get home. So crowded. So many screaming kids. And I was so dizzy and tired. When I had finally reached the bus stop, I had very definitely missed my bus. It was a long cold wait for the next one. With screaming people waiting with me. I still have no idea why they were screaming. Just to hurt me I guess. Crazy people.

When my bus finally arrived, it was a driver in training. So the ride home was extremely long. And more of the screaming children. I just wanted to close my eyes and disappear forever.

But one small triumph today. I ate bread. SOLID food. Sure, it was soaked in soup to make it very very soft, but I still had to chew it a little. My gums hurt a tiny bit, but I don't care. They have to get used to not holding chompy teeth.

I think I might go to bed early. Bad days are always extra tiring.
Today was a failure day.

I fell asleep on the bus and a woman sat on me. I must have slid a bit into the seat next to me. Rather than poke or tap me to wake me up, she just flopped herself right on top of me. RUDE!

The metro was no better. I did my best to stay to the sides of the walkways away from the fast crowds, but I was never out of the way enough. I kept getting pushed and shoved all over. It was sad.

I tried my best to get through work, but I had a terrible time concentrating. I did manage to get a couple easy things done. I was sent home early though when I tried to give my boss my fortnightly (because bi-weekly is confusing) status report and wasn't able to make a complete sentence.

I was wearing my glow in the dark shoes today and fell down as soon as I got into my dark apartment because they were so shiny and I was so dizzy. Ben sent me to bed after that.

He woke me for dinner. Mashed potatoes again. Then my mom called and complained about my lack of food variety. Like I have a choice? I'd love a big slice of pizza or a burger, but that's not going to happen until these gums get their chance to heal.

I really don't want to go back to work tomorrow. My mouth hurts so much. Will it ever get better?
Yesterday morning, my boss told me to go home because I looked terrible.

At lunch, the director told me to go home because I looked terrible.

So I went home a tiny bit early. I felt terrible.

I forgot my keys.

I spent the evening in the leasing office waiting for ben to come home and let me in.

When ben got home we went to costco. Then quickly left costco when we realized that we forgot our rebate check that we had come there to cash. (Our costco credit card gives us money back, but requires us to go to costco to get the money.)

After that, we had dinner at caltort. I could not open my mouth wide, so I had turkey chili. It wasn't too bad.

Then we went to the food store where we bought soft things for me to eat before and after my surgery. We also got sore throat spray on the recommendation from the dentist. He said it would work better than the little tubes of numbing stuff normally meant for teeth. It seemed weird, but he was right. It works much better. Oh, and I also bought ingredients to make ben's birthday dinner. Nothing fancy - just lasagna. I know it can't compare to the spy museum, but I will make it with LOVE!

When we got home, I took some medicine for my sinuses and went to bed. That stuff knocks me out far too well. I couldn't get up this morning. I ended up sleeping an extra 30 minutes. It was still a struggle to get up.

Only 7 more days until my teeth are pulled. I'm scared, but looking forward to being pain free when it's all over.

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holytoastr

January 2015

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