It seems like the week was extra long and friday was doing its best to make it feel even longer. Add onto that a cold windy rain storm. Yuck.

To try to warm us up, I made spinach enchiladas for dinner. Followed the recipe nearly exact except I used fresh spinach instead of frozen. It was pretty good. And surprisingly filling. I couldn't finish one. Ben ate only two. If I ever make it again, I think I'll try making my own enchilada sauce. The canned stuff was a bit salty.

Ben didn't sleep well that night, so he ended up sleeping really late once he did fall asleep. That left me plenty of time to go crazy. I was dwelling on a long dream I had which was a combination of several real memories and several fake ones. I spent the morning crying about how people only invite me to stuff because they pity me.

When ben woke up, we had to following conversation.
Ben: What's wrong?
Me: The only reason anyone is nice to me and invites me to stuff is because they felt bad and pitied me.
Ben: I don't pity you.
Me: Not even when we first met?
Ben: Ok. Maybe I pitied you then.
Me: Seeeeeeeee????

Ben eventually did manage to cheer me up. Then we went together to the comic book store. I got lots of good stuff, including two new d&d issues, new fables, and new cinderella: fables are forever. Cinderella is killing me. It's moving much too slowly. I am going to die of old age before I find out why dorothy turned out so mean.

We also stopped for lunch and food shopping. Then went home for a nap. I am going to spend the rest of the afternoon doing battle against my mountain of dirty clothes in the hamper. And in between loads, I think I'll go through all the old high school clothes my mother sent me. It's mostly shirts, which I'm fairly certain won't fit me anymore at all. (Boobs didn't show up until college.) Anything I don't plan to keep, I'll bring to goodwill. I love having that place just a few blocks away.
Why so many ddos attacks on lj? Seems like a waste of time to me.

Anyway, stuff goes on. On Sunday, I put stakes in the ground to rope off area for my garden. I'm glad I did that because I realized 4'x8' would be much too small. I increased it to 4'x16'. I hope that's not too big. Now I just need to buy the wood and dirt.

Yesterday was unseasonably warm (we broke records) but I was trapped indoors at work. Too cruel! In the evening, I ran around with my dog in the yard. So at least I got to enjoy a little bit of the weather. And my dog appreciated the exercise. Through she got a little sad because she thought I was trying to avoid her. She cheered up once I started to chase her.

For dinner, I made Quinoa Chili in our slow cooker. I was disappointed by it. The quinoa was mainly used to thicken the sauce. You could barely taste the quinoa flavor. And that stuff is far too expensive to use just as a sauce thickener.

It was very hot on the second floor when we went to bed, so I turned on our ceiling fan for the first time. I was a little scared it would fall on us. Once I figured out how to lower the speed, it was less scary and I was able to fall asleep.

Ben had another late night shift, which was sad. Luckily it was a short one so he returned to me after only a few hours. Which was good because I had a nightmare where a debt collector kidnapped us and locked us up in a debtors prison where we were charged for everything, including the toilet paper we used. It seemed very stupid to me because if we were kept in prison, how were we going to work and earn money to pay off the debt?

Today is cold again. And rainy. And full of meetings. Yuck.
Ben had a bad day yesterday, so after work we went out for dinner. We returned to that lebanese restaurant that we liked. Last time we got a big sampler platter so this time we knew exactly what was best. We got a bunch of appetizers and split them - hummus, falafal, and grape leaves. I was a little sad that the bread was not as amazing as the first time. It was still good, but not amazing.

When we got home, we cuddled on the couch and watched community together. I had avoided the show because everyone on the internet was going, "omg!!!! this is the best show ever!!!!" which is an instant turn-off for me. I can't stand hype. But while the show isn't the best show ever, it is enjoyable.

After that, we went to bed. I had a sad nightmare. I dreamed I had just finished shopping at some little corner store and was about to walk home when a group of men offered to walk with me. I walked about two yards with them before deciding this was a Bad Situation and turned around to head back to the store and call a cab. But one of the guys grabbed me and made horrible scary threats to me if I fought back. So of course I fought back.

I woke up thrashing and kicking. None of this woke ben. I spent the next 10 minutes or so writing a happy ending to the dream because I read somewhere that you can reduce the frequency of nightmares by doing so. Something about how you train your brain to look for better outcomes.

Today is yet another day at work. Meh.
Noname has used the yard twice today. I'm so proud of her.

Roomba is cleaning the floors. I can hear it knocking stuff over in the hallway.

I have had a lazy day. Last night ben woke me because I was crying in my sleep. I was dreaming that he was choking me. I did a bit of unpacking this morning. I removed a shelf in one of the kitchen cabinets and now have room for my flat baking pans. And then I paid all my student loans for the month.

I think in a little bit I will work on cleaning off the dining room table. It has tons of papers all over it. Most of them are junk mail. I wish the trash company would deliver our trash and recycle bins already.
Not feeling too great today. I woke up this morning a bit congested. I'm hoping it's just a need for more sleep. Work has been so stressful lately, I've been having constant nightmares that keep waking me up. (One night, Ben woke me up because I was crying in my sleep. I don't think these are normal stress levels.)

If I'm feeling worse by this afternoon, I will go home early. Of course, that will only make the stress worse later when I try to catch up on all the stuff I've missed...
holytoastr: (melting panda-aurianrose)
I had nightmares all night about work. I kept dreaming about making edits to a very difficult package that was already overdue to the printer.

I definitely woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Once I was done crying, ben suggested we take a walk down to the bagel place for breakfast. That was a very good idea because I felt a lot better after.

We also stopped at the library to return a bunch of books, which made me feel really productive.

When we got back, we tried watching Dark City but all that sunshine and fresh air had totally exhausted me. I kept dozing off. We paused it halfway through and I took a four hour nap. I didn't dream about work so I felt pleasantly rested when I finally woke up. And then we finished the movie while I worked on fixing my sweater.

All the collar holes have been repaired and it doesn't look too bad now. The collar is still a bit tight but I think it'll be ok. So I'll start on the sleeves tonight. I want to get far enough along that I can go back to knitting on the bus again.
Last night I had a nightmare that I was being attacked by some sort of weird animal that was about the size of a small dog with exaggerated chihuahua ears. The ears had been carved up with "tribal" designs. It had 4 legs, but they moved and bent like spider legs. And the thing was fast! Luckily it hadn't figured out climbing or jumping, so I was evading it by jumping across furniture (the floor is made of lava style). There was only so much furniture to jump around on though, so I was trapped in the room with the thing. I woke up before I could figure out an escape plan.
Yesterday ben took me clothes shopping. I was having button issues with a few of my work shirts. I tried on at least 20 different shirts, but only ended up buying 3. And I got a new pair of pants and a new skirt.

When we got home, we napped until ben had to go in for his monthly midnight shift. I did some knitting and laundry until I was tired again. Then I had trouble falling asleep. I hate being alone at night because I jump at every sound. I tried to block out the scary noises by listening to music.

I woke up in the middle of the night from a nightmare. I dreamed someone was attacking me and had a gun. I had trouble dialing 911 because the phone I had was touch pad only and I was panicking.

Ben came home a couple minutes after I woke up so I felt a little safer. I slept much better once he came to bed.

Today ben and I ran errands. First we went to the post office to mail some house buying paperwork. We used the post o tron machine. Then we had lunch at the diner. It was surprisingly busy. After that, we went to the library for the next very terrible dragonriders of pern book. The last one took me over a month to read. I hope I can get through this one faster.

I feel very sleepy now. I might take a nap.
Scenes I remember from my dream last night:Read more... )

And then I woke up and told ben I had a nightmare.
Worst nightmare ever last night...and I don't even remember what it was about!

What I do remember is waking up drenched in sweat, completely unable to move. I couldn't scream or cry either! I was totally paralysed!

I want to stay home and let ben hug me for a couple hours until I feel better. Stupid work expecting people to show up each day....
Last night I had nightmares that mccain won. I woke up in a sweat crying.
I dreamed that Something Really Bad happened to ben. And tonight is his midnight shift, so he wasn't in bed to reassure me it was just a dream. I was crying and sweating, even felt a little nauseous. I made ben come home from work.


Mar. 8th, 2008 10:32 am
- The other day I saw a woman so tiny, she was wearing baby clothes. Yes, I am sure she was an adult woman. And yes, I'm talking about infant clothes.

- A nice old man shared his umbrella with me while I waited at a light. I feel bad that I checked my pockets afterwards.

- There is a rule on the bus that you can't lean on the back doors. (They might open.) However, a guy on the bus the other day refused to step away from the doors because there was no yellow line to indicate he shouldn't be there. The driver kept explaining that for the guy's safety, he could not stand that close to the door. To which the guy kept replying, "Where's the yellow line? I don't see any line that says I can't stand here!" So we sat for what felt like forever while the guy fought with the driver until the control guy outside came on the bus and told the guy he would have to get off if he didn't cooperate.

- I finished my super cute pretty pony purse. I must remember to take pictures. (And post them, along with the Mount Vernon pictures I never posted.) I broke 5 needles trying to make it. And no, I don't understand why.

- Ben is funny and makes me laugh.

- I had a nightmare last night that ben hated disney so much, he even hated muppet 3d. He was so grumpy, it was making everyone in the group uncomfortable. And I was crying because my boyfriend hated the world. Not even muppets could bring him joy!

- In tae kwon do class, I was stuck sparring with the very old man today. He can't remember anything so most of our time was wasted re-teaching him the basics. Frustrating!

- I think I might rock band a little today, then take a shower and head down to the pottery lab for a bit. I have some pots to glaze and trim.

- I think a rocket garden would be an excellent place for a wedding ceremony.

- The food I was chewing just fell out of my mouth. I fail at life.
I had a nightmare last night that I had a baby and was happy about it. Of course in the dream childbirth didn't hurt at all and it skipped over the whole "screaming pooping puking newborn" stage, going straight to functional semi-person. Ben wasn't allowed in the hospital with me so I had my mother staring at my crotch. Uncomfortable.

Now I'm all upset at my treacherous hormones. They should know better.

Perhaps killing some invisible ninjas in class today will help.
1. My aunt joy and her husband decided to paint my grandparent's house. They must have been really drunk because one end was painted blue and the other white. In the middle it looked as if there was a battle between the two colors. The sides were painted brown and blue. Oh, and they painted all the windows.

2. Some sort of creepy lovecraftian monster had been released and was destroying things and making people go mad. Someone found out that if you write some sort of spell in really big letters on a specific hill, it would draw the monster to it and lock it in the hill. Just as I finished the last word, the monster appeared. I tried to run but got so scared my legs froze up. Then it looked at me. Paralyzed with fear I just shut my eyes and hoped death would be fast.
Nightmare )

Dream )
I had a strange nightmare last night where I was visiting my mom because she bought a new house. The house was, for some reason, stuck in a rift between dimensions. Things from other dimensions kept leaking into the house but because of the extreme energy cost, they appeared as ghosts. They were really there though so you'd run into people in all sorts of unexpected places. Sometimes people would materialize in this dimension stuck in the wall. There was a war in one dimension that sent bullets raining down on the living room. They only pinched when they hit us, but it was still scary. In addition to all those crazy things happening, I was terrified that I would slip into one of those dimensions and be a ghost myself some place else.
I had a nightmare last night that ben got a second girlfriend. I was afraid of losing him so I lied and told him I was ok with him dating two girls at once. But really, it was making me crazy with anger and jealousy.

Dream )

That's where I woke up. I was really sad but ben reassured me he wouldn't date anyone else but me. I still feel a little sad though. Just the idea of him dating someone else upsets me.

I also dreamed last night that there were bees in the room.
Last night I had two nightmares. The second was by far worst than the first though.

In the first one, I was sitting down at dinner with a bunch of people I knew in college. After dinner ben leans over and asks a former roommate of mine "fpr her services." I'm sitting there, mouth gaped open, as she and him sort out exactly what "services" she will be doing with him that night. Finally I flip out and grab him and tell him I would do anything for him and that he shouldn't go to another girl for anything. He responds, "Well, I'm just not that used to you yet." So I hit him and run away crying.

I guess I felt guilty about hitting him in the first dream because in the second one, I dreamed ben died. I didn't know what to do now that he was gone. I felt so sad and empty. And I couldn't stop crying. I was actually crying in real life too. I woke up ben with my sobbing. I'm really REALLY glad he's not dead. I hate nightmares.... :(



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