Mar. 14th, 2006

Came home feeling sad and dumpy. Ben made dinner for me. I ate it and then sulked for a bit. We watched some dr who. While we watched, I made ben play with my hair.

Then ben started playing a zombie game. I was feeling down so I waited on the couch for him to finish for the night. He mentioned being tired, so I figured it wouldn't be long. I woke up at 1am very upset that I had been sleeping on the couch half the night.

I tried to go to bed in a bed, but my back hurt from our not-so-comfy couch. It took me a while to fall asleep, even after ben rubbed my spine for me.

I can crazy vivid dreams. One about balancing the fame of a real celebrity by being an internet celebrity. One about playing a new type of string instrument. One about meeting the scadians. One about getting free orange-flavored toothpaste. One about someone crawling in bed into ben's spot. (I was very upset.) One about spilling my beads everywhere. And one where ben turned my computer off.

Ben says I yelled at him in my sleep about the last one. I was bad and stayed in bed all morning talking to him. I wanted to stay there forever. We looked like a magazine cover with the white sheets and my cute pjs and the tiny dog jumping around. I thought if I stayed like that, I wouldn't have to face the day. But then I was running late. So then ben had to help me get ready for work by making my lunch.

I don't expect today to be a very good one. I just want to go back to bed.

[EDIT] A picture of my life
Today is Pi Day!

3.14 )
My brain is doing that broken thing and I can't concentrate. I need to go home. Now. Anxious. Not dealing with today well at all. May hide under desk soon.

I want to call ben so I calm down. Was going to do so while I went to the post office. Turns out I won't be going today. More anxious. Maybe hide in the bathroom and call?

Started biting nails again. Chewing gum in effort to stop. I feel so broken. I want to hide and go to bed.

[EDIT] Yay, crying in the bathroom. That's always a good way to deal with stress.... :(

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holytoastr

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