(no subject)

[holytoastr]

After work today, ben and I walked to best buy and barnes and noble. Ben got world of warcraft and I got fruits basket 10. I won't spoil the ending for anyone, but I'm just going to say that it pleased me. :)

I had planned on making stir fry for dinner, but by the time I got home I was too tired. So we had spaghetti instead. Maybe stir fry tomorrow.

I've been doing a lot of thinking since I got back from my trip. My life is pretty close to perfect. I'm comfortable, I have my boyfriend, I have my dog, I'm employed...All that good stuff. But I keep having these awful nightmares every night.

I used to have nightmares every night. But that was back when I was really unhappy and things were bothering me. As soon as the cause of my worry was gone, so were the nightmares.

Ben suggested my worry right now is my mom. I am constantly forced to make up stories all the time to please her. I hate lying. I wish I could just be like, "Mom, ben and I are living together and we are incredibly happy," and then have her be happy for us. But I know if I ever did tell her that, she'd drive down here as fast as she could, bash down the door, and drag me back to ny by my hair.

She's far too controlling. She still won't let me pay off my own college loans. And I had to bypass her control over my credit card by paying it online. Her excuse is that she is "helping" me. I really don't need the help though. Especially since I'm living with ben. We save so much money by living together. But *sigh* I can't tell mom that.

And then we throw in the house situation. (Ben does a good job of explaining it here.) Just another unpleasant problem to sit on my mind. Again "helping" me. Helping me by forcing me into a mortgage I'd rather not have to deal with just yet. I want to pay off some of my debts before I accumulate new ones...

Comments

totally understand

[madamminx.livejournal.com]

I had to lie about living with Bobby to my parents. I knew they wouldn't like me moving in with a man, let alone an older black man. So I ended up telling them when I was pregnant and the shit hit the fan. But the fact is, they had to accept it. Or else they wouldn't be in my life or my kids life. And after loosing the baby and Bobby being the for me, they realize he's a good man. And now they like Bobby. They just had to give him a chance or else they'd loose me. I also have been closer to my mother since. I don't have to lie anymore and I can just be honest on the phone. Its alot better. Its hard to do it, but going to the honest truth is the best. And my parents are the redneck mormons. Its tough to please them.

[pbfryingpan.livejournal.com]

Oh World of Warcraft XD Kelly plays that, and I have a character on his account. It's an enjoyable, but soul-consuming, game ^_~

I hope things get better with your mom... >_< Let me know if there's anything I can do to help *nods*

[holytoastr.livejournal.com]

You already did the most fantastic thing of finding me a job! ^^; That itself made things better between me and my mom! (By putting 300 miles between us.)