![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
holytoastrYesterday jenn stopped by and brought me birthday gifts. Very cool of her. She got me a Spiderman candy dispenser and a little Buddy Christ statue. ("Our Father, Who Art In This Box") I can't decide if I want to keep him in the box, or take him out and put him on top of my comp. I love the little red dots on his wrists. Very nice touch.
Afterwards, I took a nap. I was really sleep-deprived from staying up to write my essay the night before. I was woken up by greg and megan who finally came to talk to me. And we had a long talk. I explained how I felt and they explained how they felt. I lot of it has been miscommunication and also, they didn't know that they were doing it. They agreed to realize what they are doing so that they can stop themselves and I agreed to tell them when something they do bothers me. I hope things work out for the better now.
I regret that I had been unable to speak to them on my own. It took the intervention of charlie and kelly to motivate them to speak to me. It should ahve been my responsibility but I jsut wasn't strong enough. But I'm really glad they did speak up. I was just about to give up. Completely. I owe charlie and kelly a million times over. And they continue to do good things for me. They brought me flowers today.
When I first got them, the flowers were all tight buds. But the warmth of my room cause them to open up rather quickly. I keep stopping to smell them. As much as I hate to admit it, I like recieving decaying plant matter.
Anyway, today I've felt a bit better. I had half a bowl of cereal for breakfast and half a bowl of pasta for lunch. That's a lot when I consider how little I've eaten before then. I had taken to only eating when I was forced to. Either at public occations or after I would fall down and pass out. And right now my tummy isn't taken the food well. But I can tell now it is more from being unaccustomed to eating, rather than overwhelming sadness.
I sent an email this morning to the production editor to tell her I wasn't coming in today. I'm going to focus the evening on catching up on my work. I had fallen behind terribly. But today I passed a quiz. First one in a long time. I am able to concentrate a bit better now. There is less on my mind and it is not so cluttered and confused up there.
I honestly believe things will get better. Perhaps I'm an optomistic fool, I don't know. But I will try my best yet again. I will be stronger. Not jsut for myself but for my friends. Especially those who took such good care of me. I appreciate it.
Oh, and since I ahve permission to blab it (cause charlie ruined the surprise), I want to tell the entire world that charlie got kelly a ring. She doesn't have it yet, since the store had to order it and stuff, but um, yes, a ring. Charlie asked me to help him pick it out, which made me feel incredibly special. I don't think I'd ever before felt so honored. So on my birthday we went to the store to show me what he had in mind, and I agreed that it was a great choice. I'm very happy for them.
Of course, I wasn't allowed to mention it sooner, because it was supposed to be a surprise. Too bad the person doing the surprising can't keep a secret. ;)
Afterwards, I took a nap. I was really sleep-deprived from staying up to write my essay the night before. I was woken up by greg and megan who finally came to talk to me. And we had a long talk. I explained how I felt and they explained how they felt. I lot of it has been miscommunication and also, they didn't know that they were doing it. They agreed to realize what they are doing so that they can stop themselves and I agreed to tell them when something they do bothers me. I hope things work out for the better now.
I regret that I had been unable to speak to them on my own. It took the intervention of charlie and kelly to motivate them to speak to me. It should ahve been my responsibility but I jsut wasn't strong enough. But I'm really glad they did speak up. I was just about to give up. Completely. I owe charlie and kelly a million times over. And they continue to do good things for me. They brought me flowers today.
When I first got them, the flowers were all tight buds. But the warmth of my room cause them to open up rather quickly. I keep stopping to smell them. As much as I hate to admit it, I like recieving decaying plant matter.
Anyway, today I've felt a bit better. I had half a bowl of cereal for breakfast and half a bowl of pasta for lunch. That's a lot when I consider how little I've eaten before then. I had taken to only eating when I was forced to. Either at public occations or after I would fall down and pass out. And right now my tummy isn't taken the food well. But I can tell now it is more from being unaccustomed to eating, rather than overwhelming sadness.
I sent an email this morning to the production editor to tell her I wasn't coming in today. I'm going to focus the evening on catching up on my work. I had fallen behind terribly. But today I passed a quiz. First one in a long time. I am able to concentrate a bit better now. There is less on my mind and it is not so cluttered and confused up there.
I honestly believe things will get better. Perhaps I'm an optomistic fool, I don't know. But I will try my best yet again. I will be stronger. Not jsut for myself but for my friends. Especially those who took such good care of me. I appreciate it.
Oh, and since I ahve permission to blab it (cause charlie ruined the surprise), I want to tell the entire world that charlie got kelly a ring. She doesn't have it yet, since the store had to order it and stuff, but um, yes, a ring. Charlie asked me to help him pick it out, which made me feel incredibly special. I don't think I'd ever before felt so honored. So on my birthday we went to the store to show me what he had in mind, and I agreed that it was a great choice. I'm very happy for them.
Of course, I wasn't allowed to mention it sooner, because it was supposed to be a surprise. Too bad the person doing the surprising can't keep a secret. ;)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-02-05 07:36 pm (UTC)How oddly beautious and cheerful it can be
Re:
Date: 2004-02-05 11:43 pm (UTC)And it makes the room smell nice.
no subject
Date: 2004-02-05 08:21 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-05 11:45 pm (UTC)I don't think I'll have to worry about getting flowers on valentine's day. I'm not much of the dating type.
no subject
Date: 2004-02-05 11:40 pm (UTC)I've been going wedding dress shopping all week with one of my friends. It's great to help with something so important and symbolic.
also, i have been trying on a million veils. poof!
Re:
Date: 2004-02-05 11:45 pm (UTC)