(no subject)

[holytoastr]

So, yes, driving home. I REALLY didn't want to leave ben. But I was proud my myself that I didn't start crying until I was out of the parking lot.

The trip was long and full of traffic. From NY almost to my house, nothing but traffic. And stupid drivers going too slow and clogging up the roads. And people cutting me off and other equally stupid stuff. But yeah, long ride. There were these two guys going slightly less than the speed limit, driving next to each other on a two lane highway. There was no way to go around them and I was going crazy. Also, there was this guy going so slow that I had to ride the break to avoid hitting him. It took forever to go around him because people are jerks and wouldn't let me in. All they needed to do was slow down a bit so I could enter the other lane, but no, they are jerks.

I hate driving.

Came home and my dog was very happy to see me. That made me feel a bit better.

Then learned mom hasn't been paying my credit card bill. Even though I send her the money for it. (In her insane efforts to control me, she wouldn't let me have the bill sent to me in college. That is so changing as soon as I can find the change of address form.) She's been using my checks on other things. Way to ruin my credit, mom.

Comments

[glazomaniac.livejournal.com]

you have receipts for those checks, right?

[holytoastr.livejournal.com]

I think I threw them out when I moved out of the dorms. *sigh* If I kept them at all. I am rather trusting of the universe.

Dad was rather surprised to hear what she was doing though, so maybe he will help me on this.

It wouldn't be that bad of a bill, since I rarely use the card, except for the laptop. I do not want to have to pay for this thing twice.

[ademus05.livejournal.com]

If you can get to your bank account online, they may have saved images of the checks. I know that is how it works with hibernia. With some phone work, you might be able to get signed digital copies from the bank.

[glazomaniac.livejournal.com]

what are the most essential things for you to take when you leave?

[holytoastr.livejournal.com]

My dog

[glazomaniac.livejournal.com]

there's really nothing else you'd have to take when you go? 'cause if so, i suggest leaving right now. the longer you stay, the more gradual departure, the more easy it will be for her to sabotage it. it will need to be sudden & soon to be safe.

[holytoastr.livejournal.com]

I guess I need my car too, to get to work and stuff. Dad says that I might be able to get my car down, but that's a story for another post.

I can't stay here for more than a week. I've got to start work!

[glazomaniac.livejournal.com]

when are your parents usually awake?

[holytoastr.livejournal.com]

Mom never sleeps. Seriously, if I go downstairs for a drink of water in the middle of the night, she's at the top of the stairs waiting for me. If I go to the bathroom at night, she tells me in the morning, "I HEARD you walking around last night."

[glazomaniac.livejournal.com]

lemme guess--she works at home, too?

[holytoastr.livejournal.com]

Thankfully no. (She used to when I was young.)

[glazomaniac.livejournal.com]

then when she is gone for work, that is when you must leave. sooner the better. that's also when you should prepare. i say you should be gone no later than tuesday, wednesday at the latest.

granted, i'm not there, i'm a little paranoid because all i get is one side of this, & i'm biased toward you & ben, so don't let me get you too riled up & nervous (i'm sure yer ma is doin' that plenty already). keep yer head cool & clear & don't do nuthin' stupid on my account.

[holytoastr.livejournal.com]

I have a plan! :)

Can't do anything today because it is Father's Day and the whole family is coming over to torment me.

Monday: Talk to dad about putting the car in my name. Let him know that if that is going to take long, I will take his car and he can drive mine down later. (Insert doom about dad insisting he drive down.) Change my billing address. Let company know I'll be starting next week.

Week: Pack. Look into sedatives for my dog. Remind parents that I have a job and can't stay here forever.

Weekend: Leave.

[glazomaniac.livejournal.com]

not a bad plan, but i suggest having a contingency plan ready for a sudden departure. might have to drive down without doggie sedatives, might have to leave a few trinkets behind, might have to sneak to the airport with your dog & find yoru way from there.

[j-buns.livejournal.com]

she has been taking your money?... honestly... that's gounds for sueing.. mismanagement of funds... do you ahve your bank statements at least?..b/c thsoe doccument all the checks you write.. and my bank at least does a photo copy of each check.....

she may be your mother.. but you need to leave right now.. if she loved you seh wouldn't be screwing your credit over like that.... also, jsut call your credit card company.. if you ahve your identification info (like the card #) you can do it on the phone right now

[holytoastr.livejournal.com]

Oh, I didn't think of calling. Thank you! I'll do that on monday! :)

[heavnsdevl666.livejournal.com]

even if you threw out hte statements, you could talk to the bank you were using and see about getting something like the account history, if that will show the checks or whatnot, at the very least they wouldn't necessarily say on that who the checks were to, but the check number and amount for each one. however, something like that you end up having to pay for. all in all, your best bet might be to call the bank you were paying from and talk to them and see what they suggest.

[plopfiles.livejournal.com]

Also, is this a joint account or is she forging your signatures??? Since, well, that's fraud...

[holytoastr.livejournal.com]

The credit card company doesn't need signatures to pay the bill.

I would be lazy and just write the checks out to my mom. Pretty dumb, I know. I am far too trusting. (But really, would you suspect your mom of something like that?)

I don't even know where to start

[selena-kyle.livejournal.com]

Dude. Your mother has defrauded you!

Here are some recommendations:
- If your mom is a co-signer on the account, call the credit card bank and ask them to take you off of the account. Get your own credit card, stat, or be willing to work off a debit card on your checking account.
- If your mom is NOT a co-signer, call them and tell them you've been having some problems with a family member and fraud, that don't require the police but you would like to protect yourself. They may have some recommendations. Some things I might ask for if I were you:
-+ ask for them to reissue your card with a new account number and PIN
-+ sign-up for online access to your credit card account, with a password that you don't share with your parents
-+ register your current checking account, so you can pay by funds transfer as opposed to check
-+ ask them to cease paper statementing, and handle all of your bills online
-+ let them know you will be moving in XX days and don't want ANY bills, statements, or courtesy checks mailed out until you've completed the move.

Part of this may be difficult, seeing as you will be moving quite soon, but let them know you are willing to work with them and will be a good customer. Sadly, parents committing fraud using the identification of their children is not unique, but I'm not sure how much of the details you want to share with the customer service reps.

Also, either way, I would call the bank that your checks were written from, and ask for the last 6 months of statements and copies of checks that were cashed against your account. (My bank allows me to access a digital image of my cashed checks via my online banking.) Count up all the checks you wrote to your mom, minus any money she actually did pay to your credit card company, and ask your DAD for a check for the owed amount. With all of the paper to back you up, you could press charges if you had to, but I doubt all of this needs to come to that. Still, separating your finances from your mom's influence is very important if you are planning on moving out on your own.

Good luck.

Re: I don't even know where to start

[holytoastr.livejournal.com]

I won't have to be too extreme. I went looking through my bills and she has been paying the minimum balance. So at least she hasn't really messed up my credit by not paying at all.

It's still a lot of money left to pay off, but it's not the end of the world. So on monday I'm going to call the credit card company and change my address. And then give my mother hell until she pays off what she owes PLUS interest!

And I actually might move it all online, if I can get my banks online thing working. Must remember to call them too and ask why it's not working.

But thank you for all your advice! ^^; I don't want to cause too much family trouble, so I think the best option is to keep it quiet and keep everything away from my mom from now on.

Re: I don't even know where to start

[plopfiles.livejournal.com]

it hasn't ruined your credit. The thing is, you don't have the best possible credit as if you had paid your bill in full on time each month...

[selena-kyle.livejournal.com]

Yes, I agree you don't need to go to the extreme, just protect yourself.

Still, even though I understand this is more about control than financial fraud, I'm shocked (SHOCKED!!) by this behavior!

I know you will work it out. It just sucks, that's all. Parents are supposed to act like the adults, right? ;-P

[holytoastr.livejournal.com]

The more of an adult I become, the less my mom becomes. It's weird!

I've sorta excused it as I'm the first child and she doesn't know how to deal with me growing up yet. She probably feels like she's losing control and is going all crazy about it.

She's been giving me crazy demands on what I can and can't do when I live on my own. I've sorta just been smiling and ignoring her, since once I am out of the house she can't do much to me anymore.