(no subject)

[holytoastr]

Last night I suddenly started crying, scared of the whole world. I shamefully ran into the bedroom and hid under the covers like a little kid. I have no clue what was wrong with me. Everything just seemed too big and hard to deal with.

Ben asked me what was wrong but I didn't know so I just kept crying. He left and made dinner for himself and then came back to keep me company. We watched Shaun of the Dead together, which comforted me a little.

Then ben went to go do something, but lied about it. That got me really upset and I cried a bit more before falling asleep. I made him promise this morning to never lie to me ever again. It's the first time he ever lied so I guess I shouldn't be too upset, but I feel like if he starts with little things it'll be easier for him to lie to me in the future over big things. And that really scares me.

I woke up this morning feeling terrible. I felt hot and my throat felt swollen and I was a little sick to my stomach. I took my temperature and got 97.7 so I guess I died last night. At work now I still feel really awful. If I feel any worse, I may go home early. I don't think I have any sick days left though. :(

Comments

[thatgirlcaitlin.livejournal.com]

I hope you feel better.

I'm sure the only reason Ben lied was because he didn't want to upset you. I understand what you mean about lying becoming a habit though. I agree he shouldn't lie but I bet he only did it to protect you, or so he thought. Boys can be silly sometimes.

[holytoastr.livejournal.com]

Yeah, he said he lied because he was afraid I'd be upset with him going into the other room. But I was more upset over the lie. Now at least he knows and he promised to never do it ever again. (But is that a lie too? See my worry now!)

[thatgirlcaitlin.livejournal.com]

Yeah I understand what you mean. But I'm sure he realizes now what made you upset and he won't do it again.