Sailor Soldier of Love and Justice

In last night's nightmare, I was trapped in a dark house with several other people who were trying to evade a monster. At first we thought there were two, but the other one turned out to be an unusually large dog. Which, thankfully, was friendly.

We were constantly creeping through rooms, trying to be as silent as possible. At some point we managed to get outside, but the monster found us and started to chase us. I managed to trap the monster in a car. While it fumbled to open the doors, we ran back into the house and locked ourselves in.

The rest of the night we took turns sleeping and keeping watch. When morning finally arrived we carefully checked the car. The monster had escaped. We started to argue whether we should go back to hiding in the house, or seek help.

I argued that we couldn't stay in the house forever. We needed to find help. And I could see some neighborhood dogs walking around without fear, so the monster must not have been nearby.

While we argued, a big dog jumped out of the bushes and scared me. That's when I woke up. I couldn't get ben to wake up and reassure me it wasn't real, so I cuddled really close to him and tried to look like a rock so that the monster would not attack us.

I'm not completely sane when I first wake up.

My subconscious is really kicking me in the head lately. Once again I had a nightmare where I woke up screaming.

I dreamed that ben got into an accident. I rushed to the hospital where the nurses told me that they were still trying to stabilize him. I pushed them out of my way and ran to the room. His heartbeat was slow and doctors were rushing around trying to bring it back up.

Then it stopped.

I ran in with super strength cause no one was able to hold me back. I started to shake ben, calling out his name and asking him to open his eyes. I was beating on his chest and crying and demanding that he open his eyes.

And then his heart started to beat again and he opened his eyes. I cried and hugged him until the doctors pulled me away to finish stabilizing him. That's when I woke up screaming.

I was really glad ben was in the bed when I woke up or I think I would have totally freaked out.

Ben was gone all weekend, hence the uptick in posts. He was back on Monday, hence the total silence.

Monday was nice even if ben slept through half of it. (He got in really late.) I did get to spend some very good quality time with him once he decided to join the waking world. He made up for leaving me alone.

In the evening, we went shopping. I wanted a humidifier to try to reduce some of the static in our apartment and to make the apartment feel warmer. We had the hardest time finding one in the store. Finally we tried the baby aisle. Who would have thought to put them there!? What a stupid place for it...

Then we went to california tortilla because I had a birthday burrito waiting for me! :D Mmmmmm, free burrito! That place is fantastic.

I'm glad ben was home last night cause I had TWO nightmares. Both about my cruise. In the first one, I dreamed that I accidentally booked my plane tickets for the wrong day and would get there a day after the boat left. I tried to re-book on the correct date but all the flights were already sold out. So stressful. And then in the second dream, I missed my flight. For some reason I went to work that day and the metro broke down and I had to walk home, which took FOREVER and I missed my flight.

Today I double checked that we booked our tickets for the right day. I might triple check later. I am feeling paranoid.

Today is my first day back to work in over a week. It feels weird to be back. And stressful. Everything is rushed now. I was busy all morning so I am taking a break to calm down before I dig into my afternoon to-do list of doom.

I think my boss hates me. She gave be a bag of Amish Friendship Bread. It smells very bad. I can't tell if that's from the yeast farts or the old milk. It's stinking up my desk. I hate chain letters of all types, including the food variety.

Also, it doesn't seem very "Amish" to me. One of the ingredients is instant pudding. Ben says that can still be amish if they bring it home in a horse and buggy. Also also, the directions says I should never destroy the starter because "only the amish know how to make the starter." That's a total lie. Behold my VAST BREAD KNOWLEDGE!!!

To make a starter, mix 1 cup of water with 1 cup of flour in a sterilized bowl. Sit bowl, uncovered, in a warm clean spot. Every 24 hours, add 1/2 cup more water and 1/2 cup more flour. (You can throw away half of it if you have too much in your bowl. No one will be offended.) Keep this up for 3-4 days until the mixture is bubbly. It will smell tangy. That it ok. You now have your own starter dough and know the mighty secrets on how to create annoying chain letter products!

Seriously. Sour dough is not some amazing amish secret. (Like those "amish" space heaters that are powered by electricity?) I figure I'll use the starter, but I won't subject it on anyone else. I think I'll look up a different recipe though. Pudding seems unwholesome.

Last night I dreamed that someone had broken into my apartment and was trying to attack me. I did everything I could to fend them off. At the end of the dream, I came at them with a strong swinging punch.

I woke up when said punch landed with a loud thump in ben's chest.

I jumped up and started apologizing, "I'm Sorry! I'm Sorry! I'm Sorry! I'm Sorry! I'm Sorry! I'm Sorry!!!!"

But ben never woke up. I wonder if he even noticed.

Last night I dreamed there was a bug crawling on me and I woke up screaming. I had trouble falling back asleep after that. It is making today very difficult. I want to go back to bed and get some extra sleep.

I probably won't have time to nap when I get home either. I will have to try to get invitations stuffed. If stupid ups delivers them this time. I left them a note to deliver them to the office.

Tiiiiired...

- Last night I spent an hour digging through old photos looking for baby pictures of noname. I was disappointed by how few there were. She's very cute in the ones I found though. She was so tiny! And her ears were all floppy.

- I had a nightmare last night that followed me through every dream. Some sort of monster with deadly tentacles was trying to break out of the other dimension it had been imprisoned in to kill everyone in this dimension. Every time the dream got too scary, I would "wake up" into another dream. In that dream people would start hinting at the monster and I'd be like, "Oh no! Just like in my dream!" It went on like that all night. It was terrible.

- When I woke up, I had no clue where I was.

- There is a dog standing by my feet, begging for food and farting. I haven't had any food for about half an hour, when I finished the last bite of my waffle. Petting her only makes her drool because she thinks my hand is bringing down food.

- I miss ben.

Last night I had a nightmare that I had gone to dragoncon (not the nightmare part) and kept running into two people that I don't talk to anymore (the nightmare part). They accused me of stalking them and told me they'd call the police if I didn't leave them alone. Lots of stupid drama.

I was really upset because it wasn't my fault they went to a con I also like and they went to panels covering topics I also like. It was just an unfortunate coincidence.

In the dream, the people running the panels took their side and I was kicked out of the room. It was really unfair and I started to cry.

I'm sure everyone knows already that the already weakened levees broke in New Orleans again. So yeah, the city is flooding. Again. I'm not going to post articles or anything on it right now, unless something super drastic changes. At least the city is mostly empty this time. Take your silver lining where you can find it.

Anyway, I was a good girl and went to work today. Even after a nasty awful nightmare where my mom found out about ben and I and was threatening to kill us. I woke up crying into the blankets, and my heart pounding. When he got home from work, ben gave me lots and lots of hugs, so I felt a bit better.

Everyone's leaving work early today bit me, since I need to finish up this assessment that I should have done yesterday. That's my punishment for goofing off. But if I work hard, I bet I can leave an hour or so early.

Tomorrow is Neil Gaiman at the book fair. I have just realized that I forgot to add spaghetti to my mouse. I shall fix that as soon as I get home. I really hope he likes it and doesn't think I'm a big freak.

Also, I hate my leg and want it to die.